that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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