I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
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