Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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