That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
