Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You have to summon your inner elephant
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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