so let's talk penis.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize
