when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
