his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
