hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
false alarm. still invincible.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
