The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
