He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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