All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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