I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
