i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
