on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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