I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
