i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
