3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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