I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
