I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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