I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
