Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
