Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize