butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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