Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
