I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
