new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
