Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
