nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
