I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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