It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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