just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
