Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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