Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
