I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
