ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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