I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
