Apparently you make a good broom.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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