You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
