You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
