is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
