Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
