also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
