Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
