Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize