i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
