***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Who died my cat blue again?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
