Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
