As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
