I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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