Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
