Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
