I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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