god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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