So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
