Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
