i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
