Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
