This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
