Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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