Are we in a gay sports bar?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
