Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
