I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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