He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
