You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
where are my eyebrows?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
