The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
