Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
