I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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