Will you blow on my dice?
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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